Let’s Have an Honest Discussion

By Blaine Light

“In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, …” Amen was the last line. My line. But I didn’t say. I never said it. Nor did I ever feel uncomfortable for maintaining my silence. Why would I?

As a Jewish student in a Catholic, Jesuit high school, I felt no need to ever combat the Christian religion. After all, the priests, teachers, and students never combated mine. In fact, they did the opposite. They were genuinely curious, always seeking answers about my religion, yet never imposing their own. They simply wanted to engage in an intellectual dialogue that enhanced both members of the discussion.

These numerous conversations that I partook in helped both the other participant and myself to better understand our respective religions. What a concept—to engage in a conversation without the intent of changing the others mindset, but rather with the desire to enhance one’s own beliefs!

From talking to my Christian contemporaries, I could better understand their viewpoint, but more importantly, I could really focus on my Jewish beliefs and how these beliefs impact me. I also learned how little I knew about Judaism from these talks. I did not know the answers to many of the questions that they asked me, but I tried my best to satisfy their thirst for knowledge.

Many of the faculty had real curiosity about their parent religion of Judaism, and they never hesitated to ask me questions about it. I was asked many times to answer questions that reflected the Jewish standpoint on certain issues, and I simply did not know these answer.

In these cases, I made sure that I answered with, “I’m not sure what Judaism believes about this, but I personally believe…” By shifting the onus of the answer from Judaism to myself, I could ensure that I was not providing false information, and furthermore, this gave me an opportunity in the future to ask a rabbi or Jewish religious leader and discover the answer for myself. That way, I could be better prepared for the next time someone asked me a question about Judaism.

The search for Jewish knowledge propelled me. It is exactly for this reason that I became involved with Chabbad on campus and other Jewish educational programs (such as the Maimonides Program) when I entered college. Although I identify with the reform movement, and have no intention of observing my Judaism in a different way, I wanted to find answers to many of the questions about Judaism.

I felt comfortable talking to orthodox Jews with strong beliefs because I had the previous experience of talking to Christians with strong beliefs. I knew that I would encounter the same level of reflexive and respectful dialogue when I spoke with my Chabbad rabbi as I did with the faculty at my Catholic school. From having an earnest dialogue with Rabbis and religious Jewish congregants, I have since come to better understand Judaism and what it represents.

By being open to the right kinds of dialogue, Jewish students can learn and be inspired to learn much more about their own religion than they ever thought possible. It is important, however, to engage in the appropriate kinds of dialogue. Propagation, or rather conversing with the intent to convert the other person to one’s opinion, is wrong.

This type of ‘conversation’ is misleading, misguiding, and carries an ill intent. When engaged in a conversation about another religion, first make sure that you are in a comfortable situation. Ask yourself, “Is this person actually listening to me, or do they just want to convert me to their mindset? Are we trying to both gain from this discussion, or is it a one-sided debate?” If the conversation is steered towards your opponents’ mindset, respect your own boundaries!

Tell the other person politely that you are not interested in being preached to, stand up, and walk away. You have this power, and you will always have this power! Don’t let other people think for you—think for yourself! After all, you’re the only one who can do that. Don’t let yourself down. If you really are confused, listen to yourself, ask your local rabbi, talk your parents, and make sure that the decisions you make are in your best interest and reflect the deep-rooted commitment you have to your family and yourself.

Remember, the word that reflects meaningful discussion is “conversation,” not “conversion.” Conversations exist so that you can converse and share opinions, not so that you can be preached to.

It’s amazing what someone can learn about themselves and their traditions from engaging in meaningful, respectful dialogue with people that have similar intent yet differing views. I know I did.

Blaine Light is a Campus Rep at University of Arizona